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Playful Parenting for Grown Ups
A few weeks ago I was at my friends' house playing on the floor
with Anya, who is three years old. I pretended to be horribly
sick and she pretended to be the doctor. It was especially fun
because Anya was using my daughter's old doctor play kit, which
we had handed down to her a few months before. So I recognized
the plastic thermometer and blood pressure cuff and stethoscope,
and I howled with imaginary pain and fear as Anya took care of
me. I joked to Anya's mother that I should borrow the kit back,
because I had an adult client who was afraid of
doctors--especially getting a shot or giving blood. We laughed
about how funny that would be to do this kind of play with
another grown-up, and then Lisa said, "Why not?"
So I asked Anya if I could borrow her doctor bag and pretend
syringe, and I brought it into my office a few days later. I
asked my client if he was willing to try something a little
different to help him with his fears. He said sure, so I pulled
out my little bright blue doctor's bag. He started laughing
right away, and he continued to laugh as I gave him shots and
took his blood and told him with a super-serious face that he
had a rare case of Falingiominosis and other made-up
silly-sounding diseases. Then he got to turn the tables and make
me give blood. I hammed it up just like I do with preschoolers,
and he had a great time.
After a few minutes I handed him a stuffed animal to be his next
patient, and he suddenly stopped laughing and talked very
seriously to the monkey, telling it exactly what he was going to
do next, and being very patient and empathic. He looked up at
me, tears in his eyes, asking me if he was a total dope to be
crying over pretending to give a shot to a monkey. I assured him
that it was just his chance to tell the scared little kid inside
him all the things he needed to hear. When we were done and put
the toys away, he said that usually when he got scared about
going to the doctor, he despised himself for being weak. But in
this game, he got to see himself as deserving of nurturing when
he was scared, instead of deserving scorn and contempt. The next
week he reported that he had gone to his doctor for a
long-delayed blood test.
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